Let’s be real—confidence is hard. As a teenager, there’s always pressure to look, act, and be a certain way. Whether it’s from school, friends, or social media, it sometimes feels like there’s a constant expectation to be perfect. Trust me, I’ve been there. But here’s the thing: building confidence is totally possible, and it’s something we can all work on. I’m sharing what’s helped me feel better about myself, and I hope it helps you too. Let’s dive in!

Accept Yourself for Who You Are

First things first, it all starts with self-acceptance. We live in a world where it’s so easy to compare ourselves to everyone else, especially with Instagram and TikTok showing us highlights of other people’s lives. But guess what? Everyone has their insecurities, no matter how “perfect” they might seem online.

One thing I’ve had to learn is to talk to myself the way I would talk to my best friend. Instead of constantly criticizing myself, I try to focus on the things I actually like about myself. For example, if I feel down about not performing well in a game or getting a bad grade, I remind myself that it’s okay to mess up sometimes. One bad day doesn’t define me. I’m still learning, and so are you. Self-acceptance doesn’t mean you stop growing, but it does mean learning to love yourself at every stage of your journey.

Get Out of Your Comfort Zone

Here’s the thing about confidence: you don’t just wake up one day feeling amazing about everything. You have to push yourself to grow. This means doing things that scare you, even just a little. It could be as simple as speaking up in class, trying a new sport, or talking to someone you don’t know very well.

For me, sports have always been a big part of my life, but I’ve had moments where I’ve doubted myself—whether it’s trying a new position or joining a new team. I’ve realized that the fear of failing was the only thing holding me back. The more I step out of my comfort zone, the more I learn about what I’m actually capable of. And you know what? That’s what confidence is all about—proving to yourself that you’re stronger than you think.

Surround Yourself with Positive People

You know that saying, “You are who you surround yourself with”? It’s so true. If you’re constantly around people who bring you down or make you feel bad about yourself, it’s going to be hard to feel confident. On the flip side, when you surround yourself with people who lift you up, it’s so much easier to feel good about yourself.

Take a look at your friendships. Do your friends support you? Are they kind to you, even when you’re not feeling your best? I’ve learned that having a solid group of friends who are there for you no matter what can make such a big difference. Also, it’s important to be that kind of friend for others. Encourage the people around you and help them see the best in themselves. When we build each other up, we all feel more confident.

Set Goals and Celebrate Wins (Even the Small Ones)

Setting goals is a game-changer when it comes to building confidence. And no, I don’t mean massive, life-changing goals like getting straight A’s or becoming the captain of your team. I’m talking about smaller, more realistic goals that still push you to grow. Maybe it’s practicing a skill for 20 minutes a day, or even just making it to practice when you’re not feeling super motivated. 

When you achieve these goals, it’s important to recognize them and be proud of yourself. For example, when I first started running, my only goal was to finish the race without stopping. Once I did that, I set a new goal to improve my time by just a few seconds. Little by little, I saw progress, and each step forward boosted my confidence. Celebrate your small victories—they matter!

Learn from Failures and Mistakes

Let’s be honest—failure sucks. But here’s the truth: nobody gets everything right all the time. Failure is part of life, and it’s part of learning. I’ve definitely made mistakes, whether it’s missing an important shot in a basketball game or getting a grade I wasn’t happy with. At first, it feels like the worst thing ever, but I’ve learned that each mistake is an opportunity to improve.

Instead of letting failure knock you down, use it as motivation to do better next time. Confidence doesn’t mean you’re perfect. It means you keep going, even when things don’t go your way. If you can learn to embrace your mistakes and grow from them, you’ll become more confident in your ability to handle whatever life throws at you.

Focus on What You’re Good At

We all have things we’re good at, even if we don’t always see them. It’s easy to get caught up in focusing on what you can’t do, but what about what you can do? Maybe you’re great at drawing, or you’re really good at listening to your friends when they need advice. Maybe you’re amazing at solving math problems or crushing it in a sport. Whatever it is, lean into your strengths!

For me, I’ve always known that I’m good at staying active and being a team player, but I’ve also realized that I’m great at organizing my time and staying on track with my goals. When you focus on what makes you unique and special, it’s easier to feel confident about yourself overall.

Confidence is a Journey

Confidence isn’t something you can just snap your fingers and have. It’s a process, and there will be ups and downs along the way. The most important thing is to keep going and keep growing. Remember that everyone struggles with confidence at times, but with practice and patience, you can become more secure in yourself.

So, whether you’re dealing with tough times at school, in friendships, or in your own head, know that you have the ability to build confidence and become the best version of yourself. It’s all about accepting yourself, challenging yourself, and celebrating your journey. You’ve got this!